


Flashbacks

by NewTimelineNewMe



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Panic Attacks, Remus being Remus, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, Unsympathetic Light Sides - Freeform, We got some good ole Remus angst, although he’s pretty mellow, before CLBG, but only cause it’s from Remus’ perspective, cat!remus, for a little bit - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-25 08:54:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,028
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22493434
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewTimelineNewMe/pseuds/NewTimelineNewMe
Summary: Deceit wants to leave. He wants more influence on Thomas, and c’mon Remus, we don’t want to hurt Joan!Remus does not like this.Virgil said the same thing before he left for good.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Everyone, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Comments: 10
Kudos: 114





	Flashbacks

Remus remembered the split. Sure, he pretended not to, but he did.

He didn’t like to think about it, but as the literal embodiment of of intrusive thoughts, it was kinda hard to ignore. Hardly a day went by without it popping up. Mostly when he was around Roman, so by extension, the ‘light sides’ (speaking of which, Remus did _not_ like that name. Like, sure, he normally was the villain. But even then, it was cause Roman refused to be anything other than a hero). One of the main reasons Remus ran to Deceit in the first place. 

_”Why were you down there?” Roman asked. He looked mad._

_”I...like it down there.” Remus tried to defend._

_”Oh, so you don’t like me?” Roman jabbed._

_“No!” Remus yelled. “I do! Alabama!”_

_“Then why are you going down there? Padre says that they are bad.”_

_“They’re not all bad! Dee’s nice to me!”_

_“But he HURTS THOMAS!”_

Remus shook his head, snapping out of the flashback. They were not fun. 

So, he avoided the light sides. Hung out with Deceit, used to hang out with Virgil, and almost never saw his brother. But it was fine. Him and Dee-they ohana’d their way out of any problem. 

_“You can’t sing that song!”_

_“Why?”_

_“It’s the hero song, and I’m the hero!”_

_“Could I be the hero for once?”_

_Roman laughed._

“Remus?” Called Deceit from the other room. 

Remus grunted in response, still caught up in the memories.

“Oh, come here.”

He climbed off the couch, leaving an impression where his body had been. _That would be an easy way to get caught,_ thought Remus. _If Thomas were to ever kill someone-_

“Rem, c’mon!”

Remus shuddered to get rid of the thought, and went over to Deceit.

“Yeah, double-d?”

Deceit was standing in the kitchen, his normally coy face scrunched up in confusion. “So, remember the whole Joan fiasco?”

Remus scoffed. “Who do you think kept bringing thoughts of a heartbroken Joan up?”

“I...thought that was Virgil.”

“Well, both of us-but really, the one thing he didn’t want to think about? How could I resist?”

“Right. Well, anyway, I think this is the perfect opportunity to...show up?”

“Oh, you mean like on YouTube? To Thomas?”

Deceit brightened. “Yeah!”

“But-Dee, didn’t you say that we did our jobs better if Thomas didn’t know about us? That’s why you kept us hidden, isn’t it?”

“Well, yeah, but you know I’ll have more influence up there. And, we don’t want to hurt Joan!”

“No, but if you go up now, they’re gonna paint you as the villain, and you’re not! And, you don’t know how being up there will effect you, or how the others will react.”

“The real world can’t be that bad, right? Like, no one else is that bothered by it. And we’re already quote unquote “villains”, so it isn’t that bad of a deal.”

_“I don’t want to be here!” Virgil shouted. “They are nice to me! You aren’t good for Thomas! You’re the bad guy! Just **leave us alone**!_

“Are you leaving? Like Virgil?” Remus has never felt so small. He couldn’t handle it if Dee left too. Leaving him to deal with Orange and Anger and Insanity. Leaving him to deal with Patton and Logan and Roman and _Virgil_ all. By. Himself. 

When did he get on the floor? Since when has Dee been hugging him? And-talking. Since when has Deceit been talking, and what was he saying?

Listen, Remus. He told himself. But Dee sounded like he was underwater. Only vibrations leaked through. His ears-they weren’t working and-and he couldn’t hear anything and he was so small.

De was counting. Remus could hear that. He was counting a rhythm, one that seemed painfully similar. A...oh, what were they called? A metronome? 

Oh. The 4-8-7. He’s having an anxiety attack. Although, that didn’t exactly help him.

Remus felt himself shrink. Quite literally, as he changed to a cat. It was one of the more effective methods to get out of an attack, and thankfully Dee understood, as he moved to stroke his fur. 

Remus stayed like that for a while, soaking in the warmth of Deceit’s arms, letting his adrenaline crash down while he shut out the world. 

Too soon, Remus shifted back. He wanted to go back-everyone seemed to like him better as a cat.

“Sorry,” Remus whispered.

“No.” Deceit said, wrapping him into a hug. “You do not get to be sorry. We both know that those are out of our control.”

 _Yeah,_ Remus thought darkly. _Virgil taught us that._

“Also, no I’m not leaving, stupid. Do you really think I would do that?”

Remus shrugged, although hearing Dee say that was much more of a comfort than he thought it would be. “It’s just...he-“ Remus shut up to stop himself from sobbing.

“I know, but that’s not gonna happen. I promise. I’m not leaving you.”

Remus nodded, then pushed himself away from Deceit and stood up. “Well then,” He said, faux happily, “I’m just gonna go. Bye!”

Deceit frowned. “But I still need help. And advice. Please, Rem, I don’t wanna talk to Inny about it, you know how much he’ll twist it.”

“Yeah.” Remus thought for a moment. “Well, what if you went as one of the other sides? Like, Logan or Patton. A disguise? They _might_ listen to you then.”

Dee paused. “Yeah! That’d work. Acting is kinda my forte.”

“Well then, if you’re good, I’m gonna go to my room.” Remus said, turning to leave.

“Wait. Remus.” Deceit said, standing to face him. “Are you okay?”

“...fine.”

“I didn’t like that hesitation, Rem.”

“Fine. I’m fine. I have attacks...all the time.” He mumbled.

“What was that last part?”

“Nothing, you should worry your pretty little head over, Dee. Just. When you go up,” Remus looked him dead in the eyes. “Stay safe. And come back down.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it any other way.”

“That’s the truth?”

“Hey, can’t the embodiment of Deceit tell the truth?”

Remus snorted and looked up, his eyes shining with unshed tears. “Yeah.”

Deceit wouldn’t leave. He wouldn’t. 

They would stay together.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think or if there are any errors in the fic!


End file.
